columns :: Hits and Phenomena, Spring 2003

by Tom Donnelly

- The Grammys were every bit the crapfest that anyone could have expected, beginning with John Mayer’s victory for Best New Artist and ending with Norah Jones beating Springsteen for Album of the Year. These two are a match made in heaven, though. Mayer dresses like a Gap model, while Jones plays the kind of horrid pseudo jazz that’s heard in the Gap.

- On the plus side, Mayer’s win in Best New Artist could be the kiss of death for him that it’s been for other artists. One can only hope. This guy’s come out and said that Sting solo is as good, if not better, than Sting with the Police. Yeah, and non-alcoholic beer is just as good as the real thing.

- The video for Johnny Cash’s version of Nine Inch Nail’s “Hurt” is the best music video released in years. Watching his hand tremble as he sings “You could have it all” has more emotional resonance than anything on television today.

- Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and Phil Collins have teamed up for an updated version of Collins’ 1985 hit “Take Me Home.” It’s outstanding. No, seriously.

- A great new English band has burst onto the scene in the form of The Coral. I recently saw them open for Supergrass, and The Coral just blew everyone away. They’re like the Monkees on speed, had The Monkees played their instruments, of course.

- Just let me preface the next few comments with one statement: I am against the attack on Iraq.

- Where were all the movie & rock stars to protest when Clinton bombed the hell out of innocent people (one target was an aspirin factory- it’s a fact) in Serbia? Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot that he had a great reason to do that. He had to get his impeachment off the front page.

- Wow, the Dixie Chicks are “embarrassed our president is from Texas.” What are the odds that even one of them is registered to vote?

- Fred Durst really gave the antiwar movement a shot in the arm with his comment that he hopes we’re all in“agreeance” that the war has to “go away.” “Agreeance.” Holy shit.

- Enough about the war, though- how about those Oscars? The Academy did a great disservice to one of the great performances of the year- Andy Serkis as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Ed Harris & Christopher Walken are both great actors, but either could have been left off the Best Supporting Actor list in favor of Serkis.

- More Oscar bitching: Chicago- give me a break. I know it’ll win the lion’s share of awards, but come on. Let’s all get one thing straight. Whether it’s the Von Trapps singing about hills or diddler Daddy Warbucks adopting a street urchin, musicals are awful. I can virtually guarantee that Latifah’s performance in that Steve Martin fish out of waterpiece of crap movie is more entertaining than her role in Chicago. Not that I’ll ever see either one.

- Gladys Knight made an appearance as a guest judge on a recent American Idol. Not for nothing, but for my money, she’s ten times the artist, if only a third of the woman (cheap shot weight joke- yes!!) that overrated Aretha Franklin is. Give me “Midnight Train to Georgia” over “Respect” any day of the week.

- Lastly, from Hollywood: sequels to “Legally Blonde” and “xXx” are in the works. Pardon my French, but I surrender.