Abban, our regular London column writer, is on vacation somewhere. I'm not quite sure when he'll be back. But since most of his stuff is pretty funny, I thought I'd find something humorous from London to post all by myself.

The following was taken from http://www.thehumorarchives.com/humor/0000900.html and it's about the London Underground - i.e., Tube, i.e. subway.

London Underground
If you are a regular traveller on the London Underground, here are some facts which you are going to wish you hadn't read.

During Autumn of 2000, a team of scientists at the Department of Forensics at University College London removed a row of passenger seats from a Central Line tube carriage for analysis into cleanliness. Despite London Underground's claim that the interior of their trains are cleaned on a regular basis, the scientists made some alarming discoveries.

The analysis was broken down. This is what was found on the surface of the seats:
. 4 types of hair sample (human, mouse, rat, dog)
. 7 types of insect (mostly fleas, mostly alive)
. vomit originating from at least 9 separate people
. human urine originating from at least 4 separate people
. human excrement
. rodent excrement
. human semen

When the seats were taken apart, they found:
the remains of 6 mice
. the remains of 2 large rats
. 1 previously unheard of fungus

It is estimated that by holding one of the armrests, you are transferring, to your body, the natural oils and sweat from as many as 400 different people. It is estimated that it is generally healthier to smoke five cigarettes a day than to travel for one hour a day on the London Underground.

It is far more hygienic to wipe your hand on the inside of a recently flushed toilet bowl before eating, than to wipe your hand on a London Underground seat before eating.

It is estimated that, within London, more work sick-days are taken because of bugs picked up whilst travelling on the London Underground than for any other reason (including alcohol).

Mmmm, mmmm, mmm....now isn't THAT just finger lickin' good?

Wash your hands people. There's dirt out there.

Yaz